Apathy: [n] Absence or suppression of passion, excitement, or emotion

Just sounds like a word that shouldn't exist just by reading the definition, doesn't it? It feels so unnatural just thinking about ignoring your emotions, your hopes and dreams literally because those are inescapably tied to your passions, which apathy crushes. So why is it that we as humans can be accused of being apathetic?

If you view the human race as a whole, you can easily see that God created us to have emotions and have them to a point where sometimes we feel like we might explode. We've all been in a situation, hopefully, where we feel like our faces might crack as they try to express the sunshine inside of our souls. (Maybe later I'll write you guys about my sunshine face times?) We've all been to that point where we think we've forgotten how to stand as sorrow kicks us down and beats us to the point of physical pain. I pray that everyone gets that chance to love someone so much that you ache to know that they're not there or because of their own pain. And we're even created with the capacity, though it never seems to be a blessing, to be so angry that we are blinded to everything but our own goal of making the world right again in our own eyes.

That being apathetic thing makes even less sense after thinking about those things, doesn't it? So why do we so easily slip into that mold? We obviously weren't made to be apathetic. If that was our real duty in life, nothing would cause those feelings. It’s against our very human nature and God’s will for us to suppress our emotions, our passions (note the fact that we’re talking about positive passions…I’m not pushing lust here or anything!). I’ve realized that by being apathetic, we not only shut down our negative emotions, but also the positive ones of joy and love, of happiness and care. By trying to rid ourselves of the evil we feel, we’re also managing to close down the only things that could help us truly defeat them: The love and care that God desires us to feel for Him and for His children. It’s against His will for us not to care.

At a young age, when we still focus on basic human desires and haven’t yet experienced the subtle things of human nature, we are not even close to being apathetic. You can notice that small children are frequently sharing time with others, are open to friends, are constantly giving hugs. In a simple word, they care! It proves that deep down, beneath the sin and muck that we are covered in, the spark of love that God has given each of us still glows, so much easier to find when we are children.

So, not only do we seek faith like a child, as so many focus on, but we also seek love like a child. Children see those that they love with blameless eyes, as God sees us as His children, as we should see those around us. Many of us seem to lose that unconditional love in life so early for so long till we meet our ‘other half’. Even then, it’s not always as perfect and blameless as God made for it to be. I know that I as a Christian have love that is much more conditional than it should ever be and much more than it was ever meant to be.

I know it seems like I’m piling goals on myself, but most of these shouldn’t be something I have to think about, and they’re generally tied into each other. I want to make sure that I don’t become apathetic. Ever. Period. Most people that know me know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don’t always say my emotions, don’t always tell people enough that I care and that I’m there. That God is there to listen to them and loves them more than they could imagine. So, yeah, I’ve given myself another goal: To fight back apathy and crack that emotional shield by cracking a smile.